In this blog, we explore how to say no to our children and how closely it is linked to setting positive boundaries for ourselves as parents or carers.
As a parent or carer, especially if we are tired or preoccupied, it can be easier to say yes to our children at the moment to avoid another conflict or having to deal with the frustration that saying no can trigger.
Saying “no” to your child can be hard. Some of us worry about sounding mean, while others feel the guilt trip when they get upset. It’s essential to tune into your own feelings when saying no and handle them in a healthy, productive way. Saying no and sticking to your decision can be challenging, but it’s an essential skill to raise well-adjusted children, who will be able to set good boundaries for themselves when faced with the world. Here are a few tips to help you learn how to say no to your child:
- Be clear and concise:
Clearly articulate your refusal without over-explaining. Be straightforward and concise in your response to avoid ambiguity.
- Practice empathy:
Acknowledge your child’s perspective and wish, and express empathy, but stand firm in your decision.
- Welcome their feelings:
If strong emotions like frustration, anger or disappointment are expressed by your child, give them space. You can explain and reason later.
- Show you understand:
Communicate to your child that you understand their emotion but communicate it simply and stay present until they find their calm again.
- Avoid apologising, simply explain:
Apologising may weaken your stance and send mixed signals. Simply explain why this boundary is important and why you are making this decision.
Remember, it’s perfectly fine for your child to feel frustrated at times. Saying no is a chance for your child to practise handling those feelings in a way that will help them later in life.
If you feel you lack confidence in your decisions or assertiveness in the way you communicate them, Sophrology can help you. A short regular practice of a combination of relaxation, breathing, movement and visualisation can help you be more present in the moment, understand what matters to you and clarify your goals and family values so that you feel strong and grounded through the journey of caring for your little ones.
Saying ‘Yes’ to You with Sophrology
In the hustle of our busy lives, as we’re running on empty, it can feel that there is not enough energy left in us to say no and be constructive about it or to simply enjoy being together as a family.
As parents or carers, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and disconnected from our own needs. Juggling multiple responsibilities and constantly being on the go can take a toll on our mental and physical well-being. One of the most valuable tools we have as parents (and human beings) is the ability to say NO – not just to help raise our children but also to reclaim our time, energy and mental well-being.
Sophrology offers a practical and accessible approach to reconnecting with ourselves amid daily chaos. Sophrology can be seamlessly integrated into our routines, even in the most unlikely places – a London cab, a park bench or simply standing in the kitchen. By incorporating simple movements, breathwork, visualisation, relaxation and mindfulness techniques, Sophrology empowers us to listen to our bodies, understand our needs and stay present in the moment.
The Power of Saying ‘No’
One aspect of self-care that Sophrology encourages is the ability to say no. Contrary to popular belief, saying no is not a rejection but a powerful affirmation of our needs and boundaries. Consciously saying ‘No’ is not about negativity; it’s about prioritising yourself, avoiding burnout and creating resilience. Saying ‘No” is like saying YES to YOU! It allows you to meet your own needs, wants and commitments without guilt or overwhelm. It’s a crucial tool for self-care as a parent and an essential aspect of maintaining a balanced and fulfilling life for yourself and your loved ones.
2 Ways Saying ‘No’ Empowers You:
- Tackling adversity: Saying no takes you off auto-pilot, allowing you to think and act more clearly. During difficult times, the ability to think more clearly becomes even more crucial. By saying no, we can create the space we need to navigate challenges with creativity and a positive mindset.
- Stress less, prevent burnout: Saying no is a powerful tool for stress management and preventing burnout. Be aware of your body’s signals and say no when you need to set limits and prioritise rest and recovery.
Practise Saying ‘No’:
Know your ‘Yes’: be clear on your life priorities and ensure your timetable or to-do list reflects them. If it’s not on the list, consider it a polite ‘no’ or a “not right now.”
Own your time: Give yourself permission to clock-watch. Take a full lunch hour or set a time limit for screens, establishing clear boundaries that make it easier to say no to future time demands.
Mental rest breaks: Schedule short breaks throughout the day. A 10-minute breather or Sophrology practice can be a powerful reset, helping you navigate daily intensity with clarity and composure.
Sophrology for Parents
Embarking on the journey of self-discovery is an essential endeavour for every parent or carer. Without taking a few moments to close your eyes, tune into your body and reflect on personal goals, you might find yourself grappling with frustration when faced with moments that should bring joy.
Many mums and dads find themselves caught up in the societal expectation of being a superwoman or superman – managing everything with a smile. This can lead to a heavy mental load and a loss of personal identity. Sophrology serves as a valuable tool to counteract the toxic effects of ‘superwoman syndrome’ or ‘superman syndrome’ by promoting self-reflection, preventing burnout and redefining success on one’s terms.
Simply take a single in-breath and out-breath – sometimes, that’s all it takes. The true potency of this breathwork becomes evident when practised beyond specific moments. Connecting your breath with confidence, joy or calm becomes second nature, as your brain registers these sensations over time. This isn’t about needing a full five minutes to rediscover your centre; it’s about the power of the practice.
Repetition is key. If you practice over 10 to 20 times before being in the moment and visualising yourself staying calm in these moments, it’s almost like your brain has seen it already. Visualisation plays a significant role – picture yourself staying calm in these situations repeatedly. When the actual moment arrives, your brain behaves as if it’s already familiar with the scenario and you’re going to react differently. Your brain memorises the rhythm and connection, allowing you to draw upon the benefits of your practice in those crucial moments, even if it’s not a full session.
It’s about knowing who you are, what you stand for and what is your purpose. Being able to use Sophrology to get very clear on this can help you feel empowered and begin to embody your values in your daily life.
Master Your Mindset with Sophrology
If you’re ready to unlock the power of mindful parenting and master your mindset for a calmer, more confident YOU, then join our ‘Master Your Mindset’ online course! This 12-part experience combines the power of Sophrology with practical mindset tools to help you turn negativity into resilience, fear into confidence and unlock your most positive self. Click the link below to start your journey to a happier, more empowered you.
